The Distraction

Ottawa Explosion: SXSW Part 7.

2010-03-23T09:24:00.000-07:00

The last day we spent in Austin was an interesting one to say the least. The Ottawa boys went to breakfast then Ian had to head to the airport to catch his flight home. He unfortunately ended up getting stranded in D.C. for the night which sucks. We hopped on a bus to get to South (?) Congress where there's a bunch of cool stores and whatnot. Right when we get on the bus, Luke sits down next to some crazy who starts saying shit like: "I'm going to stick you.......... I'm gonna take you on under the bridge and stab you........... I'm gonna kill someone. Make some money." Needless to say we got off the bus fairly quickly. Walked around check out some stores including the biggest and craziest antique store filled with so many blasts from the past. It was overwhelming. Stopped a restaurant for a seitan bbq sandwich thing that was pretty good as well as a beer and tomato juice drink that was pretty good.

Headed to the hotel to chill out for a bit but then room service came in so I was back out on the streets. Headed over to BEERLAND to meet up with Luke then we headed over to THE SIDE BAR to check out this band called JAILL who have a couple of the guys from THE GOODNIGHT LOVING in it. I guess the schedule got changed around because they weren't playing quite yet. It was an outdoor to stage which was pretty cool. Would have been better if the weather had been a bit nicer. Met up with our friend Mark and a couple of his friends from Portland. A band called A GIANT DOG that had the singer from BAD SPORTS playing drums was getting ready to play. Luke and I headed over to the bar to grab a drink. We switch things up a little and order vodka sodas. The bartender was a good dude and he heavy-handedly poured our drinks. This was the turning point of our story, folks. The drink was delicious, reasonably priced and after 2 of them we were already starting to feel it. A GIANT DOG were pretty good. Except the singer had terrible dance moves and looked like a "sexy treasure troll" which is either a compliment or an insult or both.

Tried to go back to BEERLAND to see JEFF THE BROTHERHOOD but there was already a line up of people probably since VIVIAN GIRLS were playing last that night. Headed back to THE SIDE BAR for more vodka sodas while we waited for JAILL to play. They ended up being a pretty good band. Kind of like THE GOODNIGHT LOVING but with less of a country feel. The songs all sounded pretty same-y though. After that checked out the LOVE cover band that was playing inside. They were really really good. During their set some dude decked out in a Canadian tuxedo with cowboy hat and boots who looked like Zach Galifianakis was doing rock kicks at the band. It was pretty funny. This was not the last we would see of him. Outside THE GOLDEN BOYS went on and were pretty cool. I guess they are an Austin band who rarely play or something. Cowboy Dude was high fiving everyone so I gave him tons of high fives and he even let me put on his cowboy hat. When he tried to get it back, I asked if I could wear it a bit more. When the band was done, I bolted. Not a cool move at all, stealing someone's hat, but it seemed funny at the time since I was wasted. We headed over to CASINO EL CAMINO because Luke is all about this place and needed to have one of their burgers. Place was pretty cool. Hung out wearing the cowboy hat. Played a round of BIG BUCK SAFARI and had some more drinks. Two hours went by and then we walked over to see if we could get into BEERLAND.

Once we hit the corner where RED RIVER (the street Beerland is on) and 7th (the street The Side Bar is on) some girl runs up to me screaming "THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND'S HAT!!!!!!" and rips it off my head. "No! It's mine! Some dude gave it to me!" "No it's not!" She walks away and gives it to Cowboy Dude, immediately frees me of any blame by telling him "someone gave it to him." Cowboy Dude walks up to me overjoyed at being reunited with his hat. "I remember your face!" he exclaims. "You're a good dude!" He remembers me because I had been very generous with my high fives earlier. He was so pumped to get his hat back. I was kind of bummed because that thing looked awesome on me but whatever. I don't have to feel guilty now. Got into BEERLAND and hung out outside getting even more unnecessarily wasted. Stumbled back to the motel eventually and vomited like there was no tomorrow.

But there was a tomorrow and that tomorrow started at 5 am or whatever time it was when we had to wake up to catch our plane. Gather all of my shit. Threw it in the cab. Cab driver was this weird 73 old man who told us tons of random stories involving encyclopedias, the Dewey Decimal System, some guy cut his girlfriend up to pieces, being the only house on the block with a television, etc. Got to the airport and things were insane! The line up to get through security was so long. It was snaking all over the airport. We got in line and waited. We finally got through and we had to sprint Home Alone style through the airport to get to our plane. We were pretty much the last people to board. Felt like hell. Vomited in the bathroom. Flew to New Jersey. Drove to Ottawa. That's it.

- Ottawa Explosion

Ottawa Explosion: SXSW Part 6.

2010-03-21T14:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a top notch day. It all started off with a trip to drop off the rental car. We stopped at this awesome Food Trailer Park! It was just a big lot with several trailers selling food. I got a chili dog. We dropped off the car and then waited forever to get a cab. We headed over to check out SO COW at a small little place but the schedule was pushed back an hour. Walked to BEERLAND (obviously) and checked out SECTOR ZERO which is comprised of two of the guys that run GONER RECORDS and their friend on drums. They play short and fast punk songs that sounded like they were written 2 days before the show. It was pretty funny and entertaining. Walked across the street to watch THE BLIND SHAKE play outside of a Mexican restaurant. They were playing in front of only a couple people but they put on a good show nevertheless. Watched half their set then headed back to check out SO COW but it turns out he canceled. So we headed back to BEERLAND to watch COCOMA rip it up for a few songs. They play with a lot of energy and are really tight. They make great us of backup vocals too. I definitely need to check out their records. Walked up to TRAILER SPACE RECORDS to watch finally get to see the elusive SO COW. I'm not familiar with his/their stuff at all but it was definitely one of the best sets of the fest. He even gave a shout out to The White Wires. Hoofed it over to CLUB 1808 to see BARRERACUDAS again then back to Trailer Space for HAPPY BIRTHDAY which is the new King Tuff band. Much like King Tuff I had trouble getting into it. BRIMSTONE HOWL were a last minute edition to the show and were awesome as well. A bunch of people had left already but those that stuck around were rewarded.

We then cabbed out to the other end of the city for the house show that THE WHITE WIRES were playing. BAD SPORTS were the first band we saw play. One of the guys in the band had won a contest that day. He won an old van filled with brand new music equipment! New drumset, guitars, amps, the works! Insane. They ripped it up hard and people were flipping out and getting rowdy like any good house show should be. Up next were SHANNON & THE CLAMS. When they first started the energy in the room kind of dropped but then they played a lot of their faster songs and even ended with a cover of HYBRID MOMENTS. It ruled. The show was being broadcasted live over the internet which is amazing. THE WHITE WIRES played next and the first song made it seem like it was going to be a disastrous set but they turned it around for the rest. They were really really great. People were dancing and singing a long and having a great time. I kept getting my fist jammed up by the ceiling fan. It was a blast! AUDACITY played next but I missed most of their set since I was hanging out outside. We then grabbed a cab and headed back to the hotel. This was definitely the most fun I had at on this trip.

- Ottawa Explosion

Ottawa Explosion: SXSW Part 5.

2010-03-19T21:23:00.000-07:00

Once again, I start my day off at BEERLAND. I get there way too early and sit around waiting to see PREDATOR. Their "Honest Man" ep has been blowing me away as of late so I was very excited to see them. They play a mix of hardcore and punk with just enough weirdness to it to make it interesting.They played hard and fast despite playing at 1 pm in front of a really small crowd. TERRIBLE TWOS played next and were fairly forgettable. They aren't bad at all and I enjoyed them when they played RRPP a while back but they didn't really move me at all this time around. DAILY VOID from Chicago played next and were way better. Loud, noisy grating guitars with pulsating drums and disgusting vocals that punish your brain in your good way. Plus the singer kind of looks like GG ALLIN. EARTHMEN AND STRANGERS were next and were absolutely amazing. They followed three crazy punk bands and switched things up completely. They played very upbeat MISSION OF BURMA/WIPERS influenced stuff. They were super tight and awesome. Can't recommend this band enough. I will be ordering the lp right when I get home

After that I headed over to catch the TROUBLE IN MIND showcase. Finally saw THE WHITE WIRES play after missing their first two shows. The set start off pretty shaky wish isn't surprising considering they were borrowing all of the gear that they were using. They ended the set really strongly and had people singing along and dancing. THE HEX DISPENSERS played next and they were way better than they were yesterday. The sound was way better and they absolutely killed. It was also entertaining because there were two random dudes there who were kind of flanking the band that had me picturing them as two of the shittiest wrestlers of all time. The guy on the left was TERMINAL SOUND GUY with his ponytail, beard and single Mardi Gras beaded necklace. The guy on the right was BUSINESS TRIP MAN with his suit and his look which was a cross between DAVE COULIER and OGRE and he kept doing the "hang loose" hand gesture and staring closely at a guitar amp and at the drummer. I picked up a copy of the new MEAN JEANS single and I just realized that I should have picked up a bunch of copies for my dear friends who are probably getting bummed as they read this sentence. Sorry. Maybe The WW's picked up copies? I will try to rectify this situation tomorrow. High tailed it back to BEERLAND to watch THE SPITS play outside on the patio. A bunch of people were hanging out in the street watching as they tore through their set. You know who loves THE SPITS? Old skater dudes who grew up going to shows in the late 80's and do not give a fuck about you or anything else.

Went to a cool vegetarian restaurant with Brad and got vegan sloppy joes. Pretty good but more importantly filling. Then headed once again to BEERLAND for the IN THE RED showcase. I only hung out for a bit but had to take off because I realized I was completely burnt out on music. Luke headed over to see SO COW who apparently destroyed AND was wearing a WHITE WIRES t-shirt while doing it which is very cool while I finally ventured into the mess of SXSW on 6th street. The streets were filled with hipsters, douchebags, crust punks, peddlers, weirdos and regular people. A clusterfuck of people that you had to weave through. It reminded me of Mardi Gras in New Orleans but instead of seeing boobs everywhere you were hearing the sounds of mediocre bands trying to "make it" coming from every single bar. My legs got crazy tired so I headed back to the motel to chill out and watch stand up comedy on tv. I am a loser. I'm cool with that.

- Ottawa Explosion

Ottawa Explosion: SXSW Part 4.

2010-03-18T23:46:00.000-07:00

Headed back to BEERLAND. I'm clearly obsessed with this place. Had to wait while a couple of shitty bands played because I wanted to make sure that I got in to see the HEX DISPENSERS. They ripped it up very hard. Played mostly songs off of Winchester Mystery House as well as a new song that they just recorded a few days ago. It was great to see a band I actually know and love instead of just checking out bands that I don't really know much about.

Walked around looking for food and came upon a cool looking Japanese restaurant. Brad and I place our order then I look over at a big group of people sitting at a table. Who is sitting at the head of that table? Bill Fucking Murray! Our minds explode and we're very pleased at our superstar sighting. A few minutes later I realize that not only is that Bill Murray but he's either drunk or REALLY sleepy. Amazing! The food was really great and I'll definitely be heading back at some point this weekend.

Walked over to TRAILER SPACE RECORDS which is where THE WHITE WIRES had played earlier to meet up with everyone. Caught BARRERACUDAS who played a set of upbeat snotty 70's style punk. It was definitely entertaining. PERSONAL & THE PIZZAS played a wild set with a drunken PERSONAL wielding a chain around and breaking shit and hitting people with it. It was pretty wild and asinine.

After that, Luke and I went back to the hotel. Him to sleep and me to write this shit. Hopefully I will have wild tales to report about what everyone else did into the wee hours of the morning.

- Ottawa Explosion

Ottawa Explosion: SXSW Part 3.

2010-03-18T17:23:00.001-07:00

Woke up at around 10 am. Feeling fairly good all things considered. Had a little EMERGEN-C and was ready to go. Went to some place for breakfast. It sucked. It took insanely long to get our food and it wasn't even that great. I don't know what the fuck was going on back there but they fucked up BIG TIME. Headed straight to BEERLAND to catch MICKEY. They played a cool set of 50's rock n' roll with punk rock attitude. Singer was very entertaining. Very cool stuff. Picked up the HOZAC single. Up next was SHANNON & THE CLAMS. I had never really heard them and they were really great. Again, totaly 50's rock influence with a modern edge to it. Shannon's voice is absolutely insane. The guitar players picking was insanely clean. Luke was not impressed with the drummer AT ALL. The guitar player's voice was so high pitch I would have assumed it was a girl singing if I was listening to their record. Listen to "You Can Come Over" to see what I'm talking about. Up next was HUNX & HIS PUNX. Same as last time. Everybody but me went to the WHITE WIRES show out in the middle of nowere but i stuck around at BEERLAND. . Next was WIZZARD SLEEVE. These guys have a goofy name but are anything but. Total LOST SOUNDS worship/rip-off. Tons of keyboards, hate and darkness. They had free FRITO PIE which was awesome! SO GOOD! DIGITAL LEATHER came on next and played a pretty cool set. A couple of songs were amazing especially "Styrofoam" which was my favorite. RIVER CITY TANLINES played next and were pretty good. Total rock n' roll stuff. Kind of lost interest after a while. CHEAP TIME played last. I have a lot of trouble getting into this band for some reason. I really love the "Wild Life" single and a couple of songs off the lp (one being a cover) and it was the same watching them live. FUCKED UP played outside on the end and sucked. Played a bunch of songs halfway through and a few covers. NERVOUS BREAKDOWN with KEITH MORRIS on vocals was cool. Ate a veggie sausage and came back to the motel to relax. Brad is mad because I didn't wait for him apparently.

-Ottawa Explosion

Ottawa Explosion: SXSW Part 2.

2010-03-18T08:45:00.000-07:00

We ended up missing THE SPITS since we left the motel a bit too late. We heard their entire set from the line we were waiting in. In kind of sucked that we missed them but we'll be seeing them later on in the weekend and it was nice standing in the sun. We got in and saw THE MUFFS. They've been a band for 19 years. Brad was flustered after finally seeing Kim in real life. His high school dream girl finally before his eyes. Swoon.

We then walked over to Charlie's since we knew there was something cool going on there. We walked in to the bar and it look like your regular Texas bar. Pool tables, big dudes hanging out, etc. We immediately headed over to the other side where the show was. Everybody in there was YOUNG. Mostly in their early 20's and some with the big X's on their hands showing they're underage. SHANNON & THE CLAMS had just finished and HUNX & HIS PUNX were setting up. Brad went over to the other side to use the bathrooms and came back with some info. Charlie's is a gay bar. We had no idea since we had bee lined it to the outdoor show part but slowly the evidence had pieced itself together. Bud Light advertisements with dudes getting intimate, dudes everywhere, techno on the loudspeaker etc. When I went to the bathroom I got an invite but declined. There was a guy next to the bar doing "exotic dancing" I guess they call it but he wasn't putting in much effort. His feet were basically planted on the floor and he just pumped his crotch rythmically to the beat of the shitty techno song that was playing. He probably would have made more money if he tried a little harder. HUNX played and were pretty good. Up next were MAGIC from Memphis. A group of 6 or 7 kids basically playing indie rock that people did in the early 2000's that most garage punk rockers would revile but apparently is cool to play now. They are good and play catchy songs but it's nothing too too exciting. We bailed halfway through the set.

As we were walking on the grounds of the Capitol building we saw something cross a path that was bigger than a rat but smaller then a cat. We ran in to investigate. It was a possum. Awesome. We then stopped by the hotel for a quick beer and headed out in search of food. The BBQ place that Luke wanted to go to was closed so we went to some New Orleans food truck outside of the LONGBRANCH INN. Went into the show and THE BEETS were playing. Totally boring in my opinion. No fucking energy in the least. Some dude wearing an inside out cardigan and stupid sunglasses playing an acoustic guitar that was all fuzzed out as his nerd friend played bass and the dorky drummer standing playing a floor tom and a snare. It was all really pleasant and cute. We bailed and headed out to TRAILER SPACE RECORDS where there was a HOZAC RECORDS show going on. The record store was pretty cool and I browsed through the records while some shitty band played typical reverb vocals, trashed out garbage. Picked up a couple records. There was a tons of people there and tons of people just hanging out outside. We went back to the LONGBRANCH and there was an even WORSE band playing. Total and utter infuriating bullshit. I can't describe it. So shitty. Stuck around through a couple of shitty bands than finally headed home. Stopped outside of the aforementioned BBQ place and watched some basketball and had my last beer thinking my night was done.

As I was walking back to the motel I saw Ian, Allie and Emily in a distance. Said what's up and Ian reinvigorated my spirit and we headed back to the LONGBRANCH. JEFF THE BROTHERHOOD were lined to play and I had wanted to see them but couldn't stand the bullshit bands any longer. I am VERY happy we went back. JTB killed it. They were insanely good. Great songs. Great energy. Everything that was missing from the other bands. They played their hit BONE JAM and even a WEEZER cover which ruled! Stuck around to watch the first song by TURBO FRUITS got bummed and left. Cannonballed into the pool then went to bed.

-OTTAWA EXPLOSION

Ottawa Explosion: SXSW Part 1.

2010-03-17T13:47:00.000-07:00

Drove to Newark, NJ last night. Stopped in Dickson, Pa for some food at the Windsor Inn, home of the World's 2nd Best Wings. It was a small room with plastic tables and a beer counter with a cash & carry liquor service. An amazing article hanging on the wall from 1993 about the Windsor Inn's winning of the State Wing Championship quoting the DJ at the event who claimed that the Windsor Inn "attacked this competition like we attacked in Desert Storm." Slept a couple of hours then went to the airport. Smooth flight. Got to the hotel. Had trouble getting our reservations sorted out. Hung out and drank beer in the sun on the curb outside the hotel while listening to music. Went and grabbed some food at a couple of couple cool restaurants.

It is now 3:45 pm Texas Time. Several beers in. Going to see The Spits in an hour. We're just getting started.

Cocktail Genius.

2010-03-14T21:03:00.000-07:00

Tom Cruise ain't got shit on these motherfuckers!

Barf Dwarf!!

2010-03-12T14:44:00.000-08:00

Paul Telner Season 2010.

2010-02-20T14:27:00.000-08:00

So we've been watching this guy's Youtube videos forever and it's time to share it with all of you since he's just starting up his new season.

Paul Telner is from Ottawa. He is the bastard son of Tom Green. Here's the intro to the new season and the first few episodes to get you caught up.

Paul Telner Overture

INCREDIBLE Street Magic!

Baking Fail!

UNDERWEAR MEN w/ Charles Trippy and itsbrent

Notes From South America

2010-02-02T15:50:00.000-08:00

2.02.2010

i am reminded of a story told last week when some friends were doing their best to cross into honduras. they were approaching the border in their car when suddenly two men came jumping out into the road, screaming at them (my friends - we shall refer to them as A, B and C for the moment) to stop.

A pulled over in a hurry and rolled down the window. the two guatemalan men starting wildly gesticulating that they could not possibly even begin to THINK about crossing the border without first having their car sprayed ´for seeds´.

"for seeds," exclaimed B in alarm, "what?"

in poor english the two guatemalan men exclaimed that there were certain seeds that could not be imported into honduras without devastating effect to the country. seeds who could affix themselves to a vehical with a tenancity not seen since biblical times. seeds that simply could not be allowed to pass.

the two guatemalan men started jumping up and down because they were so worried about these seeds. they began screaming at the top of their little guatemalan lungs that the car absolutely needed to be sprayed or else all hell would break loose once in honduras. A & B looked at each other and timidly asked exactly how much this would cost.

"$40!!" shrieked the guatemalan men, still flailing about as though they were on fire.

C consented, pulled out his wallet, and took out two twenty dollar bills. The two guatemalans salivated briefly at the sight, snatched the money, and both began shouting into a large bush some twenty feet away.

Out of the bush a third guatemalan appeared, holding a common garden hose. He meekly walked up to the car and began to shamefully sprinkle a meager amount of water over the car. A, B & C all sat and watched as this poor man slopped his hose over the vehical while staring at his shoes and refusing to look anybody in the eye. The other two brash men had also adopted a quieter demeanor, and the three of them began to slowly circle the car and sort of give it a loose washing with the corners of their sleeves, all the while looking utterly embarrassed. B likened the experience to a tribe of indigenous people performing a dark ritual around a corpse.

at this point a woman came out of nowhere and literally yelled out "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?" at A, B & C, and the three men bolted off into the horizon.

- Dave Secretary

ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD: Apartment Hunting

2010-01-31T21:10:00.001-08:00

- All My Friends Are Dead

Get A Life Losers at 854 Bronson. (01/23/10)

2010-01-31T21:08:00.000-08:00

- Evil Home Stereo

TERMINAL LAUGHTER: "Timmy's On Youtube"

2010-01-28T17:49:00.000-08:00

- TERMINAL LAUGHTER

ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD: Art Deco.

2010-01-19T18:43:00.000-08:00

Notes From South America

2010-01-17T12:52:00.000-08:00

1.14.2010

god dammit i fucking hate hippies!!!

so i had to take some sort of bus ´tour´ to guatemala because apparently its impossible to do this by yourself. anyway one sketchy bus ride driven by the most indifferent fat man ive ever seen got us to some sort of poo-brown river. then the indifferent fat man waved us out of the bus and pointed down to the river. he even accompanied us for about twenty feet and then turned around and marched back to the bus.

we wandered around, asked a few people what the fuck was going on, they all told us to go back and talk to the indifferent fat man.

so we go back, he´s long gone, everyone´s milling around looking retarded when suddenly the fat guy jumps out from behind a tree down by the river and starts whistling and waving his arms in the air.

so we rush over there and he pushes us into this long boat on the poo-brown river. i know for a goddamned fact that this is the border between mexico and guatemala, but for some reason we cant just cross to the other side, we need to fight the current for like fifty miles.

finally some people on the other side become visible and that shitfucking asshole in the back throws a goddamned tarp on me!!! this happened like 5 years ago when i was crossing into guatemala from belize!! god dammit!!!

so im writhing under the tarp and making my objections as audible as possible and suddenly the tarp is removed and im thrown off the boat into the jungle.

theres a bunch of giant sketchy looking guatemalans all clutching fistfuls of quetzals and calculators and yelling out in poor english that i ABSOLUTELY MUST EXCHANGE MY PESOS WITH THEM RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW. they proclaim that there are NO BANK MACHINES IN GUATEMALA and that the GUATEMALA BANKS WILL NOT ACCEPT PESOS and the IMMIGRATION OFFICE WILL NOT ACCEPT PESOS.

so someone (possibly me) says in an obstinate voice "LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. YOUR COUNTRY´S NATIONAL BANK WILL NOT ACCEPT CURRENCY FROM THE COUNTRY IT BORDERS. CORRECT?" and everyone looks a little disconcerted and someone else (possibly me) then starts complaining about how i left a perfectly good bottle of tequilla in the hostel in palenque because this is suppose to be a goddamned OFFICIAL CROSSING into the country and not this snake-oil salesmanning of perfectly respectable white people.

anyway so then i had this brilliant idea and pushed my way through the sketchy currency converters and climbed this little hill. last time in guatemala i am fairly certain the goddamned TOWN BAKER stamped my passport with a little stamp he found nearby. anyway this time the immigration office was this little shed in the middle of nowhere. so i stood in line and then everyone stood in line and some random dude showed up and said OF COURSE WE ACCEPT PESOS and then the converters all looked down at the ground and shuffled off into the jungle, presumably to plot kidnappings

so i pay my $5 to get into the country

OH FUCK

yeah so getting OUT of mexico i show up and say I´M LEAVING THE COUNTRY and the dude gives me the form to get IN the country and tells me to go fuck off. so i actually fill out the first name, last name part before i realize what the hell´s going on, and then go back to the dude behind the bars at the office and wave the entrance form in his face and tell him DUDE I´M LEAVING, I DIDN´T JUST APPEAR OUT OF THE FOREST. and he gets all cross and starts telling me because i began filling out the form i need to finish it?! and i keep telling him i´m not filling out a second entrance form?! and we go back and forth and finally he stamps my passport and then writes something down in it, and i rip up the form and bail

yeah so back in guatemala, i pay my $5 and then ask where the nearest bathroom is. they actually have a decent one, working toilet and all. its got four walls and a tin roof and everything. there´s this big wooden cabinet behind the toilet. i urinate and flush and then this fucking FAT CHILD jumps out from behind the cabinet with this big bucket of water and just dumps all the water into the toilet and then starts screaming for propinas!! god dammit!! and i´m about to get all chris hanson on this little pervert when it occurs to me that i have a canadian loonie in my pocket so i give it to the fat child and instruct him to use it to barter for butter crackers or whatever it is he seems to be living on.

god dammit.

tikal was pretty fucking awesome, though. good way to spend a day. i´m currently on the isle of flores, which is in the middle of a lake that reminds me of canada. there is nothing better in this world then canadian summer at a cottage on the lake. preferably with friends and a barbecue.

ive taken tomorrow off to do some school work and cancel my phone and pay my hydro and mail postcards and do all the stupid beaurocratic nonsense that piles up when you arent at home, and one of those tasks includes backing up all my pictures so i´ll post some then.

right now i´m going to go to los amigos and sit by the fire and the lake and watch rare documentaries on central america in a hammock while girls bring me these enormous buckets full of strawberry and banana smoothies full of rum and cane sugar.

- Dave Secretary

Crass Commercialism

2010-01-17T11:24:00.001-08:00

Male Nurse- Song A Day For A Year

2010-01-03T13:38:00.000-08:00

Ottawa's own Male Nurse a.k.a Davey Quesnelle is in a lot of bands and I mean A LOT. Between December 23rd and 31st he played shows as a member of Chandeliers, Mother's Children, Cloven Hoofs, Peach Kelli Pop, Pregnancy Scares and also a show as Male Nurse. That's not even all the bands he's in. He's also a backing member for Steve Adamyk and has played shows in 2009 in Million Dollar Marxists, Holy Cobras and Magnificient Butchers as well as backing up other people in different projects. I'm probably still missing some. It's not just the fact that he's in a bunch of bands that is impressive. It's the quality of all the bands he's in and also the musical diversity of all the bands. Davey can play tons of different styles and instruments and do them all very well.

Even though he is already this prolific and must have band practices every night of the week he's out on a mission to put out a song a day for a year. He's posted 3 songs already and they are all really good, simple and straight to the point. Check them out HERE and make that page your homepage and check out a new song every day for the rest of 2010!

Bad Cop Blood Cop

2009-12-26T12:16:00.000-08:00

"On November 3rd 2007, a decapitated head was found on the side of the road in a city just like yours. The bizarre crime baffled even top police investigators. What came next was even worse....."

Written, filmed, edited, etc by Dave Doucette and Ian Brown.

Drunk Dad Karaoke Blowout!

2009-12-25T12:16:00.000-08:00

Drunk Dad Karaoke Blowout is a phenomenon in and of itself. They took the world by storm at their first and only public performance which took place at Babylon Nightclub in Ottawa on November 21st 2009. They swooped in and defeated 3 teams to position themselves as Ipod Battle Champions. Have a look!

Download ALL of their championship winning tracks by clicking HERE.

Billie Jean
Dancing in the Dark
Don't Stop Believing
Eye of the Tiger
I Need A Hereo
Livin' On A Prayer
Paranoid
Under Pressure
Walk Like An Egyptian
Young Turks

Video shot and edited by Ian Craig Young Brown.
Songs recorded and performed by Drunk Dads.

The King Khan & BBQ Show - Invisible Girl Live!

2009-12-24T09:38:00.000-08:00

KK & BBQ playing the title track of their new album at BABYLON on December 5th.

Everyone in the crowd seems completely wasted.

Video shot and edited by Ian Craig Young Brown

Dummy Troubles

2009-12-23T06:31:00.000-08:00

ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD: Fran N' Drescher:

2009-12-18T14:39:00.000-08:00

Here's a sketch from ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD. These guys are from Montreal/Ottawa and are putting out some hilarious stuff.

The Most Random Last Words Ever

2009-12-16T15:29:00.000-08:00

Get A Life Losers!

2009-12-14T22:18:00.000-08:00

Get A Life Losers are a new band in Ottawa. They play weird punk/post-punk/no wave or whatever the hell you want to call it. Picture the Minutemen & Modern Lovers freaking out with James Chance and the Contortions but way louder and wilder.

Here's a video of them playing their song "Get Out Of Centretown" at a house at 60 James St.

Here's a quick interview with the guys in the band.

Get a life losers!?!? What's that supposed to mean?!

Chris: Hah, well, I mean, have you seen us? It's just one of those catchphrases that also kinda sounds like a sports team if you can imagine a team called The Losers who come from Getalife.

Tyler: I think it's meant to distract from our heavily suppressed and all encompassing fear of being disliked and unpopular. I hope my mom isn't reading this.

When I listened to the version of "Stay out of Centretown" that's on your myspace page it's almost a completely different song. Is that kind of "monkey business" typical of your songs?

Chris: I'm really flattered to hear someone listened to our songs on myspace, let alone compared them to our performance video, which they also watched! To answer your question, this monkey business is because we are secretly working on the songs each time we play them and we would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids.

Tyler: "Monkey Business" is a saying that was sadly absent from my childhood days. I think usually I'd get a "stop mucking around" or a "be quiet, Rosanne is on" which was sage advice, because we all learned from Rosanne's mistakes in the end.

If you had your say, who would ban from Centretown?

Matt: Anyone who’s planning, hosting, or otherwise holding a parade. Sure the kids like them, but kids will like anything you dangle in front of them. Besides, parades always wake us up way too early in the afternoon. The kids will understand when they get older. Hell, they’ll probably even thank us.

Chris: We are anti-parade?? I'd ban the crack lady who keeps stealing the oranges out of our citrus water can at Bridgehead. She doesn't stop.

Tyler:I'd ban my Aunt. She likes to throw gravel on the roads so that the kids that skate on her street will fall down. I think she keeps gravel in her house. In a barrel? Yeah, probably.

Video shot and edited by Ian Craig Young Brown.

Distraction Poll: Irrational Homophobic Fears.

2009-12-13T15:57:00.000-08:00

THE DISTRACTION took to the streets and found 100 homophobes and we asked them: "What is your biggest fear?" The results were fascinating and revealed some truly irrational fears.

36% said BUTT PIRATES

24% said GAY VAMPIRES

22% said JIZ WIZARDS

The remaining 18% gave varying answers. The most baffling of them was "CUM-FU FIGHTING" which apparently involves dicks that are "as fast as lightning!"

Visuals by Splatter.

Black Metal Prank Call

2009-12-08T21:23:00.001-08:00

Quest For Fire - "Bison Eyes" Live!

2009-12-07T04:06:00.000-08:00

Here's a video of Toronto's Quest For Fire playing "Bison Eyes" live at Zaphod's on November 21st 2009.

Video shot and edited by Ian Craig Young Brown

Diefenbunker

2009-12-02T16:43:00.000-08:00

During the Cold War, our government built Diefenbunker, an enormous 4 floor bunker in Carp, On that was built to withstand a near-miss from a nuclear explosion. It was built to shelter many of the most important federal civil servants and senior military officials.

Check out more of David Forcier's photos HERE.

Disturbing Distraction #3495: Lysol Douche

2009-11-25T16:22:00.000-08:00

From Wikipedia:

In the late 1920s Lysol disinfectant began being marketed by maker Lysol, Incorporated and distributor Lehn & Fink, Inc. as a feminine hygiene product. They intimated that vaginal douching with a Lysol solution prevented infections and vaginal odor, and thereby preserved marital bliss. This Lysol solution was also used as a birth-control agent, as post-coital douching was a popular method of preventing pregnancy at that time. The use of Lysol was later discouraged by the medical community as it tended to eliminate the bacteria normal to the healthy vagina, thus allowing more robust, health-threatening bacteria to thrive, and may have masked more serious problems that certain odors indicated in the first place. All the same, Joseph De Lee, a prominent American obstetrician who held great sway over American obstetric practice through his writings, encouraged the use of Lysol during labor. "...[J]ust before introducing the hand, the vagina is liberally flushed with 1 per cent lysol solution squeezed from pledgets of cotton, the idea being to reduce the amount of infections matter unavoidably carried into the puerperal wounds and up into the uterus by the manipulations."

In the US, from around 1930 to 1960, vaginal douching with a Lysol disinfectant solution was the most popular form of birth control.US marketing ads printed testimonials from European "doctors" touting its safety and effectiveness. The American Medical Association later investigated these claims. They were unable to locate the cited "experts" and found that Lysol was not effective as a contraceptive.

Nobunny "Not That Good" Live!

2009-11-24T18:34:00.000-08:00

(Photo by Rob Karlic. Taken from Nobunny's myspace page.)

Today's video is from the same show as our last post.

Nobunny has a rabid fanbase pretty much all over the world. He's put out a couple of singles and an insanely catchy lp "Love Visions" which sold out pretty quickly on it's original label Bumbledumb Records. It was later repressed by 1-2-3-4-Go! Records which is when Nobunny really started catching on. A relentless tour schedule which features his insane and entertaining live show definitely solidified Nobunny as a must see.

Here he is with his backing band, 2/3 of the Rock N' Roll Adventure Kids playing their first song of the night: "Not That Good".

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Video shot and edited by Ian Craig Young Brown

The White Wires "Girly Girly Girly" Live!

2009-11-22T13:21:00.000-08:00

On August 8th 2009 there was a huge bash held at Dom Polski a.k.a. the Polish Party Palace. It was a wild night filled with music, food, beer and dancing. It marked Nobunny's triumphant return to this city as well as debut performances by Rock N' Roll Adventure Kids and The Handsome Sexies who are both from California.

This show was the third stop on a short Canadian tour where The White Wires and Nobunny annihilated four different cities.

The White Wires made the crowd pogo till they puked!

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Video shot and edited by Ian Craig Young Brown.

Knock Knock

2009-11-21T11:01:00.000-08:00